It’s The Full Moon – Harvest Moon 2019
Dear seekers after truth,
All day, the media has been hyperventilating over tonight’s full moon, but let me reassure you: there’s anything to worry about. The moon isn’t officially full until 12:33 AM Eastern Standard Time. That means we will narrowly avoid a full moon / Friday the 13th convergence. And as we all know, serial killers and demonic entities are nothing if not sticklers for astronomical accuracy.
So relax.
Nothing bad is going to happen to you.
Unless, of course, you live in the Central, Mountain, or Pacific time zone, in which case you’re screwed.
Anyways, here we go.
HOROSCOPES
Aries
This month, after your hooded sweatshirt is hooked on the blades of a giant wind turbine and your body is flung 100 feet into the air, you will become a staunch proponent of fossil fuels.
Taurus
This month, you will be confused and a little disturbed when Ken Burns begins to follow you on all major social media platforms.
Gemini
This month, you will say to yourself, enough is enough, I’m not going to live this way, and finally replace your Brita filter.
Cancer
This month, you will push your significant other out of a tree while apple picking.
Leo
This month, you will fall through a subway grate and directly onto the roof of your train, making you—for the first time ever—on time for work.
Virgo
This month, you will regret investing all your savings in a company that manufactures vape-detectors.
Libra
This month, your intense impeachment fantasies will lead to yet another fender bender.
Scorpio
This month, you will find a dinosaur bone in your backyard, then go to war with Big Paleontology, who will stop at nothing to get their hands on that T. Rex shinbone.
Sagittarius
This month, you will press the wrong elevator button and just have to live with it.
Capricorn
This month, you decide to be proactive: not only will you get your flu shot early, but while you’re at CVS, you’ll stock up on Kleenex and cough medicine.
Aquarius
This month, while holding up a candle for light, you will wonder why the handwritten labels on a fuse box are always, always, always illegible.
Pisces
This month, you will manage to pull a muscle while watching It: Chapter Two.
WRITING ART NEWS
I spent part of the summer learning about the Dutch Golden Age painters, whose uncanny ability to represent our three-dimensional world on a two-dimensional surface has convinced many contemporary experts that intricate lenses must have been secretly employed in the creation of their masterworks. Whether their virtuosity was the result of God-given talent or occult technologies, it doesn’t really matter—at least not to me. A painting is only ever as good as the viewer’s eyesight, and mine is far from golden. In fact, my eyes are the reason I had to give up painting—no loss for the world, believe me, but whenever I think about it, I absentmindedly shatter the glass I’m holding.
I decided to see if I could recreate my visual experience for others and spent the next few months committing acts of digital vandalism. Now I’m happy to announce Vermeer Through a New Lens, an exhibit that will be on display at MIT’s Rotch Library from October 12th through November 29th.
From the website:
Boston-based writer and artist Will Dowd presents 16 prints that remix the paintings of Dutch painter Johannes Vermeer. By manipulating these iconic artworks, Dowd enables viewers to see through his eyes—and visual impairment—thereby offering a fresh look at an old master.
So if you’re near the MIT campus this fall, please stop in. It’s free and open to the public.
—WD
Song of the Month:
Fauxlero (Bolero De Revel) – Paco Rodrigo