It’s The Full Moon – Wolf Moon 2020
Dear seekers after truth,
Do you hear that?
The howling?
Tonight the Wolf Moon rises.
Not even a penumbral eclipse can diminish the Wolf Moon’s power.
It drags something out of you.
Even if you’re not subject to a full lycanthropic transformation, you’ll undoubtedly feel it.
A strange lupine stirring in the spine.
An uncharacteristic craving for red meat.
A certain pull toward the dark tree line on the outskirts of the village.
Don’t fight it.
I’ll meet you there.
HOROSCOPES
Aries
This month, you will pause for a moment between frantic mouse clicks and ask yourself why you’ve been tracking with such obsessive zeal the internal dynamics of the British Royal family while neglecting your work, your private relationships, and even your personal hygiene…but the moment will pass. Click.
Taurus
This month, a blizzard that would normally result in a day off work will fall redundantly on Martin Luther King Jr. Day. You will spend the morning making snow angels face down.
Gemini
This month, you will be offered a business opportunity in a hotel hot tub. Take it.
Cancer
This month, while chiseling away at your frozen gutters, you will find, along with twigs and copper leaves, a single sleigh bell encased in the ice. You will sway on the ladder as you hold it up to the sun, blinded by the magic of Christmas.
Leo
This month, after rescuing a celebrity pet from New York traffic, you will finally be able to afford Hulu without ads.
Virgo
This month, you will try to look natural as you waddle out of a Staples, a dozen cartridges of printer ink shoved in your pants.
Libra
This month, you will wonder if you are a terrible person for ordering a food delivery during whiteout conditions. You are.
Scorpio
This month, you won’t fall but you will “have a fall,” which is a sign of your age, really.
Sagittarius
This month, you will receive so many CVS refill robocalls that you finally start taking hostages.
Capricorn
This month, you will bump into Brad Pitt at a small art gallery and note that he looks lost but happy.
Aquarius
This month, while dreaming that the Earth is just a zoo for humans, you will be woken by a giant alien tapping impatiently on your bedroom window.
Pisces
This month, you will jog past a pond and reflect that none of the creatures in Star Wars or the Wizarding World of Harry Potter even approach the high strangeness of the duck.
MALADIES
This month’s malady belongs to my mother, who rang in the New Year with a sudden massive surgery and is currently recovering in a Boston hospital.
Meanwhile, I sustained a cut on my thumb the other day that required a band-aid.
So it’s been a tough month for the whole family.
Prayers are welcome. —WD
Song of the Month:
Junior Brother, Hungover at Mass
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=InzElkQ3O5Q